IT moved

My evil best friend is my bathroom scale. I have an obsession with it. I try not to. But it's almost like an affair.

I try to weigh myself only once a week. It's more like 5 times a week. If I press the button to see what I weigh and my fat percentage, the scale makes a loud beeping noise and I feel like I'm hiding a drug addiction because I'm wondering if my husband heard that.

I'm obsessed. Even worse. It NEVER moves (except when it kept going up). It finally stopped. I quit soda. I quit cookies. I eat veggies and push aside the carbs. I've recently switched to weight loss shakes (they are soy, chocolate and from Costco. They are delicious). I love them. I drink one for breakfast. Sometimes one for lunch. If I stop for pizza or fast food, I don't get anything for me. I try and choose water. I lecture the kids on healthy eating habits. When our schedules permits, I make a large salad to go with the chicken or fish for dinner. I think my diet secret is exercise. And that is my elusive piece of the puzzle.

I think about exercise ALL the time. I even put my most recent walk away the weight DVD in front of the TV and still I don't turn it on. Ugh!! Lazy, hardly. But I would rather read and play with the kids. Plus, it's so yucky out. Who wants to go out in the drizzle cool weather of Seattle.

Anyway, my obsession means I weigh myself 5 times a week. Always in the morning and always naked (very bad visual). Today it went down.

Woo Hoo.
Today's weight: 264.4
Yep. 2 pounds. I will wait until Monday to weigh again so that I don't get disappointed on a Sunday. It's much easier to stick to my eating schedule on a Monday.

And my obsession beginnings: started when I was pregnant with baby #3. Baby #1 - I gained 55 pounds. I ate healthy and still gained a load of weight. I lost all but 15 (so I thought) and then got pregnant with baby #2. Doctor said I had lost 22 pounds. Ugh again. But, I ate what I wanted (mostly meat) and didn't gain anything until week 28. And then it was 4 pounds every time!! Although it was only 28 pounds total.

Then baby #3 came along. Mind you, I lost nothing after baby #2. So I was on that scale everyday. Making sure I only gained the 20 pounds the doctor recommended. Go me. I succeeded. I lost it all too. Then baby #4 came along. I gained 20 pounds again and lost it all.

I have worked hard to break myself from this habit of daily weigh ins, but I can't get the baby weight off. I guess if I REALLY wanted to, I would succeed. I'm always thinking "tomorrow". I'll run out of tomorrows and wonder if I'll regret it.

I'm all over the place here. My brain is wacky. Anyway. I'm happy I lost 2. Now I have 66 more to go!!

not posting so well

I am ho-hum on this diet. The food is good but the weight is not "melting" off. I'm not looking for the quick fix (of course I am), but I realize that it takes time to get the weight off. It's just frustrating to watch it be so s-l-o-w!

So, week 1 weigh-in, I lost 4 pounds!!
Week 2 weigh-in, I gained 1 pound (what??)
Week 3 weigh-in, I'm back to where I started (seriously, I didn't eat that much over the weekend).
Week 4 weigh-in, I'm back to the weight lost! I'm down 4 pounds. It's better than nothing.

I've been working on exercise. It's the toughest part for me. My little 2 kids and I went on a 3 mile walk last Monday (the 19th) and then again on Saturday (the 24th). I'm now nursing a major sinus infection that isn't too troubling, but my breathing is very labored. I'm a little nervous to get out there and walk again.

I just borrowed "the biggest loser" for the Wii. I'll have to plug that in tomorrow and give it a try.

I'm working on eating on my own. Today I tried to be good, but I need to journal my food:

Breakfast:
lowfat vanilla yogurt with a teaspoon of honey
coffee with 1 tablespoon of creamer and vanilla flavoring

Snack:
1 slice (1/8) of large de-lite pizza


Lunch:
4 slices canadian bacon
2 slices lowfat swiss cheese
1 cup raw carrots
24 ounces of water


Snack:
lowfat blueberry yogurt
16 ounces nonfat, no whip mocha
1 slice (1/8) of large de-lite pizza


Dinner:
3 corn tortillas with
chopped steak
avocado with jalepeno
chopped onion and cilantro


coffee with creamer and vanilla (I have 4 of these each day. I love my hot coffee).
 

Day 2

I think about the general food less today. It's easy to stick to the program (so far). Serving sizes for vegetables are much more different than expected, but it's a doable program.

I had cereal for breakfast with an egg and mandarin orange.
I was up until 4:30AM with Mr. C's friend who slept here last night and had a hard time. So, my thoughtful friend, Carol, brought me a triple non fat, no whip mocha to help get me through the day. It was my lifesaver.
My lunch consisted for red beans, rice and sausage with a side of celery (peanut butter on it), 2 carrots and a slice of cheese.
My afternoon snack was another slice of cheese and a mandarin orange.
I drank a few coffees with nonfat creamer. It's not on my list of foods, but it's worth having if I'm giving up Starbucks.
Dinner was mushroom risotto (so gross) with roasted asparagus and broccoli.
Now it's time for dessert. Yummy.

I've even managed to drink all my water since I've began. I'm looking forward to weigh-in on Sunday and planning out my exercise routine. Keep it simple and get it done.

Day 1

Strange how starting a healthy eating plan can make you think about food all day. When is my next meal?
What do I get to eat?
Am I hungry?

I find that I am a grazer and walk into the kitchen often. 
I did manage to leave the food alone that sits on my kids plates. 
I did manage to drink 5 glasses of water to add to my 3 glasses of coffee. 
I did manage to avoid Starbucks.

I feel good and full. I will have to find more vegetables to add to each meal. Salad alone will not cut it.

Today was good!

Getting my fat ass in shape

OK.  I admit it.  I am fat.  I've been fat for a long time but I haven't done anything about it.  But that needs to change.  Why?  Well, the obvious one is because of my health.  I can't continue to be as overweight as I am without it starting to have a negative impact on my health long term.  So far I've been pretty lucky and don't have diabetes or high blood pressure or anything - but if I simply maintain where I've gotten to it's just a matter of time.  But I've known I need to fix this for my health for a long time - so why now?  What's the catalyst for jumping in this time around and committing to losing weight this time?  I wanted to start getting some exercise so I joined a co-ed soccer team with some of my co-workers last year.  Rather than get into shape my body started to break down.  My knees are killing me, I pulled muscles on a regular basis and I've now got a terrible case of plantar fasciitis.  This all made me realize that in order to be as active as I wanted to I need to lose some weight by changing my diet.  I used to play baseball, basketball, soccer - for hours on end.  It kills me that I can't do any of this anymore.  I know I'm older, but that's no excuse.  Now is the time to get my fat ass in shape.  I've got four kids to keep up with - and hauling around this tanker truck of a body is going to make that difficult!

Day 1

breakfast:
1 blueberry muffin (nutrisystem)
1 hard boil egg
1 small pear
2 coffee with 2T creamer

lunch:
chicken caesar (nutrisystem) salad with 2 cups Romaine and 1 cup celery
1 oz low fat Jarlsberg cheese

afternoon snack: 
Honey Nonfat Greek Yogurt
1/2 med banana


dinner:
Homestyle beef with mashed potatoes and gravy (nutrisystem)
2 cups salad with tomato and cucumber (fat free balsamic vinegar dressing)


dessert: 
Carrot Cake (nutrisystem)
coffee 

Initial numbers

Sunday, March 28: GOAL - pre baby #3 & 4 (250 lbs)

week 1:
Weight: 267.2 pounds
% Fat: 42.8%

measurements:
Hips: 53"
Waist: 36-1/2"
Belly Button: 46"
Upper Arms: 13-1/4"
Mid-thigh: 29"
Chest (under breast): 38"

Heather starts her new lifestyle

As you can see, 2008 did not become the starting point for us. Today is the starting point for us. I will be accountable and I will get this baby weight off.

I, Heather, will lose the weight that holds me back from being myself and comfortable in my own skin. Actually, I am quite comfortable, until I see photos. I'm reminded of my thoughts as a child of my own mother and wonder if my kids think the same way.

I've always been a judger. It's a very sad fact and the majority of the time, I will judge an appearance or weight and quickly forget it. It's true that we are more concerned about ourselves than others.

I spend a fair amount of time, thinking "Wow, she is so thin." But some women are just thin. I wasn't able to wrap my head around the fact that we are all different and born with the bodies we are to have based on evolution and procreation until I read the book "Hungry" about a model who starved herself to a size zero, but her actual body is a size 12. She looks WONDERFUL as a size 12. I find myself thinking, "Wow, at least I don't look like that." But, if I don't do something, I will look like that. I do have the advantage of height to help me with my weight, but I can't hide it anymore. I'm uncomfortable with my muffin top. I'm pathetic climbing a flight of stairs. I will NOT go to the waterslides or put on a bathing suit to play with my kids. And this is the place I'm ashamed of. I want to play with my kids. I want to be comfortable. I want to be thinner.

Notice, I don't say thin. I want to be me. I want to be able to eat the foods I love, drink some wine, enjoy myself, but not be so overweight that I am inhibited from participating with my kids. I can walk 4 miles without pain. I can finish a 90 minute Hot Yoga class. I just can't find the right balance to get the weight to come off.

So, that brings me to today. Marc and I are taking our first step, together, to lose the weight we have gained since having our first child. Prior to Miss M, I was 205. Yes, 205! But, I wore a bikini and looked good.

1. My goal is to be pre 1st baby. To get to this elusive 205.
2. My ideal goal is to be within the recommended weight from my height of 140 - 180 lbs. I'm going for 180 pounds.
3. According to a bmi calculator I am 37.2 which is severely obese. My 1st goal should be 250.3 to be moderately obese.

To help me and Marc on this weight loss journey, we have ordered Nutrisystem (I am not paid or endorsed by them). Our food arrived today. And the journey begins. We will each tell you what we think of the food and how things are going. We will weigh in every Sunday and take measurements every 4th Sunday. We will set goals and check them off as we go. Join us in our journey to get healthy and happy!