Let's do it again

Another year. How is it 2011 already. I swear, every year I think "this is the year". This is the year I will get serious and lose that baby weight. Why is it so hard to be motivated. I'm thinking I'll print a photo or two to remind me what I look like.

You've heard of anorexics? I think I'm a thin-o-rexic. Not sure what else to call it. I think I look thinner or better than I do. I see myself in the mirror. I think, yes - I'm overweight by the scale, but I look OK. Then I see photos and I think, no - there is no way that is me.

I was always normal growing up. I ate and ate and played. Never did I have trouble. I was fine in college. But, I was putting on 10 lbs a year (without realizing it. this was pre "scale love affair"). I had my babies (4 in 5 years) and put on weight with each one. Since I have never dieted prior to this, it is really hard. 

I want to be fitter. That is my goal. I have a high fat percentage. I'm not thinking numbers or sizes. Just that I want to be fitter. Yes, I can go out for a 3 mile walk. Yes, I can hike up the mountain, but it's not making a difference in my body. Probably because it's so random that I do these things. Diet alone will not change me. I have to change my thinking and get myself to the gym. No mommy guilt. I sit at home playing on the computer or cleaning. That's not quality time with the kids. So why do I feel guilt about putting them in the kid care so I can take care of myself. In the long run, that means I will be able to take better care of them.

I have my first appointment with the gym this Friday. Two friends on my street are going to meet me at the school bus and we are all going to the gym. Accountability. Friendship. Encouragement. Together we can do it. Hopefully, my next post will say that I'm sticking to it. Or that I feel so great, I will finally sign up for that 5K with my family. Then it's off to a 1/2 marathon. That is my ultimate goal. Weight loss will be a happy side effect.