IT moved

My evil best friend is my bathroom scale. I have an obsession with it. I try not to. But it's almost like an affair.

I try to weigh myself only once a week. It's more like 5 times a week. If I press the button to see what I weigh and my fat percentage, the scale makes a loud beeping noise and I feel like I'm hiding a drug addiction because I'm wondering if my husband heard that.

I'm obsessed. Even worse. It NEVER moves (except when it kept going up). It finally stopped. I quit soda. I quit cookies. I eat veggies and push aside the carbs. I've recently switched to weight loss shakes (they are soy, chocolate and from Costco. They are delicious). I love them. I drink one for breakfast. Sometimes one for lunch. If I stop for pizza or fast food, I don't get anything for me. I try and choose water. I lecture the kids on healthy eating habits. When our schedules permits, I make a large salad to go with the chicken or fish for dinner. I think my diet secret is exercise. And that is my elusive piece of the puzzle.

I think about exercise ALL the time. I even put my most recent walk away the weight DVD in front of the TV and still I don't turn it on. Ugh!! Lazy, hardly. But I would rather read and play with the kids. Plus, it's so yucky out. Who wants to go out in the drizzle cool weather of Seattle.

Anyway, my obsession means I weigh myself 5 times a week. Always in the morning and always naked (very bad visual). Today it went down.

Woo Hoo.
Today's weight: 264.4
Yep. 2 pounds. I will wait until Monday to weigh again so that I don't get disappointed on a Sunday. It's much easier to stick to my eating schedule on a Monday.

And my obsession beginnings: started when I was pregnant with baby #3. Baby #1 - I gained 55 pounds. I ate healthy and still gained a load of weight. I lost all but 15 (so I thought) and then got pregnant with baby #2. Doctor said I had lost 22 pounds. Ugh again. But, I ate what I wanted (mostly meat) and didn't gain anything until week 28. And then it was 4 pounds every time!! Although it was only 28 pounds total.

Then baby #3 came along. Mind you, I lost nothing after baby #2. So I was on that scale everyday. Making sure I only gained the 20 pounds the doctor recommended. Go me. I succeeded. I lost it all too. Then baby #4 came along. I gained 20 pounds again and lost it all.

I have worked hard to break myself from this habit of daily weigh ins, but I can't get the baby weight off. I guess if I REALLY wanted to, I would succeed. I'm always thinking "tomorrow". I'll run out of tomorrows and wonder if I'll regret it.

I'm all over the place here. My brain is wacky. Anyway. I'm happy I lost 2. Now I have 66 more to go!!